I have no idea how the seller of the condo below hasn’t questioned where his or her money is going…

As a child of the 1980′s, I read more than my fair share of Dr. Seuss books.

My absolute favorite book of all time was called “Wacky Wednesday,” and even though my little brother scribbled all over the front of the book with red crayon making it impossible to read the title, I still knew which book I wanted to read every night before bed.

Here is the synopsis of the book from the inside flap:

“A baffled youngster awakens one morning to find everything’s out of place, but no one seems to notice! Beginning readers will have fun discovering all the wacky things wrong on each page while sharpening their ability to observe, as well as to read.”

It’s amazing!

Each successive page has one more “wacky” thing for kids to identify.

Here is page twenty of the book.  See if you can identify the twenty things that are wrong.

1) The road is a carpet
2) The man on the bench is upside down
3) The pig has no legs
4) The police man has three legs
5) The fish is fishing for the fisherman
6) There are two suns
7) The tree has no trunk
An Airplane is on the road
9) The woman pushing the white stroller has no head
10) The woman pushing the blue stroller is on a chair
11) The red stroller has feet instead of wheels
12) The pink stroller has no carriage
13) There is a house in the air
14) There is a car in the air
15) There are three houses stacked on top of each other
16) The chimney is not attached to the building
17) The tree has a shoe for a trunk
18) There is a man pushing a stroller on the road
19) The road is coming from the sky (on the left side – cut off in the image)
20) ??

I can’t find the 20th.

Maybe it was cut off on the left or right sides, but either way – I feel superior to all children right now, and if there was a seven-year-old kid sitting next to me, I’d rub it in his face!

So if I haven’t lost you yet (“Why the hell is this real estate agent examining a kids book on his blog!?!?!”), I’d like to compare Wacky Wednesday to what is going on in our real estate market right now.

All across Toronto, Realtors are listing properties with rampant errors; some borne out of laziness, and some borne out of lack of knowledge.

I wrote an article in The Grid last week where I outlined five simple ways you can tell if your Realtor is cutting corners, and the response was very positive in my industry.  Most people spoke up and said, “Very true; I can’t believe agents do that stuff!”  But many agents did not speak up, because they’re the ones who are guilty…

I ask again: What the hell are you paying for?

Some sellers will list with a Burlington agent who has no idea where the property is located, just to save 1% in commission.  Sure, you might save $4,000, but it might also cost you $25,000 because nobody is showing your listing, your listing shows poorly, or maybe, just maybe – you’re going to get sued.

I’d like to replay Wacky Wednesday with a listing that came out this week.  See if you can find things that are wrong with this:

Should I tell you?  Or do you want to figure it out on your own?

Okay – just do me a favour and before reading below, take at least 5-10 seconds to look over the listing, and then come back to this….

..

…

….

…..

Okay, here we go.

1) The photo is not of the right building. 

That’s right – the agent didn’t even get the right building!  Do you think he or she has ever been to the property that is for sale?  A better question – has the agent ever been to Toronto?  375 King Street west is known as M5V, but the picture shows Victory Condo at 478 King Street West.

2) There are no interior photos.

This one is quite normal for discount brokers our out-of-town agents.  This agent simply took a stock photo of the building from MLS (the wrong building), and neglected to take any photos of the unit itself, assuming he or she could find the unit, and assuming the unit exists.

3) The property management company is wrong.

M5V is managed by Brookfield, and the listing says Simerra.  Oops!

4) The postal code is wrong

The listing says M5V1L7, but the correct postal code is M5V1K1.  You can use www.canadapost.ca to look this up (takes approximately 20 seconds of your day), or you can find this by searching current MLS listings (where you might copy a stock photo of the wrong building…)

5) The condominium corporation is wrong.

The listing says MTCC/2206 when it’s actually TSCC/2206.  In their defence, half of the listings on MLS have MTCC.

6) The square footage is wrong.

Maybe give them a pass on this one, but the fact that the square footage range says 500-699 and the listings says 600 is something that should have been sorted out ahead of time.  Perhaps the condo is 550 square feet and they’re saying “approximately” 600 square feet, as any reasonable agent would do.

7) There are no room descriptions.

“Laminate,” written three times, is all you get to know about the condo.  Again – what the hell are you paying your agent for?  You’ve got three description fields for each room – so why not use them and actually advertise and market the property?

$620 per square foot

They call this “great value,” but $620 per square foot with no parking and no locker is not great value.  This is like a tree with no stump, a police officer with three legs, or a house floating in the air.

I just don’t understand it.

What the hell are you paying for?

It’s your largest investment, and you’re going to put it in the hands of somebody that can’t even figure out which building is which, let alone somebody who likely hasn’t even visited the property?

Well, as somebody once wrote on my blog, “This is just another opportunity to separate yourself from the pack.”

I agree.  And I, along with thousands of other hard-working, reputable agents do this every day.

As for the listing above – it’s a joke.  And so is everybody involved in the entire process….

I think he was joking, but I’m always interested to see what is selling (or not selling) overseas, and what the process is like.

I truly have some of the best clients in the world.

I called a former client named Werner yesterday afternoon to ask if he knew anybody looking to buy or sell real estate in the next couple months and he replied, “As a matter of fact, I do!  My mother is in desperate need of help selling her home in Bargteheide, Germany.  Know anybody looking?”

Well, I walked right into that one, didn’t I?

As Germany is about to be served with the unenviable task of bailing out the tzatziki-eating, 20-hour-work-week inhabitants of a neighbourhing Euro-zone nation, one might question the strength of their economy, from everything to their real estate to the value of a mint condition deutsche mark on Ebay.

Werner told me, “Look to the small towns to see how real estate is really moving, or not, if that’s the case.”

Bargteheide is home to about 16,000 people, and although their Wikipedia page says almost nothing other than what the population was in 2001, it’s an old-school town with old-school flavour, and that makes selling real estate somewhat difficult.

There are currently 37 properties for sale in Bargteheide, which is one for every 432 people.

For comparison’s sake, there are usually around 12,500 active properties for sale in the GTA around this time of year, and with 5.5 Million people, that’s one property for every 440 people.  That means our market is slightly thinner than theirs, but I’m sure they don’t have thousands of crappy pre-construction condos to pad their stats.

It’s tough to get a sense of the property, when I don’t speak any German, and of course when I can’t decipher whether “Heintz Gerberash” is a name of a person, or the type of flashing used on the roof.

But I can tell you that the property, priced at 228,000 Euros, is a 3-bedroom, 2-storey, red-brick townhouse with a very pretty terrace as seen here:

While there are some massive estates for sale in Bargteheide for upwards of 1,000,000 Euros, this home is the lowest-priced home on the market, which is helping bring people through the door.

On the market since November, there have been 15 showings – which is a lot in that time frame, and ironically, 8 of the potential buyers were young, pregnant couples.  I guess you could say that this property appeals to the first-time-buyer looking to move their growing family!  Either that, or the municipal officials in Bargteheide are putting fertility drugs in the water…

Now, I alluded to the fact that this is the lowest-priced house for sale in Bargteheide, and you’d be surprised to see what you get when you start to climb the ladder on price.

The second-cheapest house in the area, priced at 252,900 Euros, is a bit concerning.  The profile photo for the listing is seen here:

I’m no expert, but that looks like two teddy-bears hanging by their necks.

It’s not quite the same “noose” that Professor Plum used to strangle Evette with in the movie “Clue,” (sidebar: if you were only aware of the Clue board game, then I’ve just helped you plan your Saturday night viewing…), but it’s still a little strange that two teddy bears are being choked to death and beyond on the railing of this home’s second storey.  You can’t argue that those teddy bears aren’t being hung – look at the angle of their necks!  They’re slumped over, and the one on the left is white as a ghost because all the blood has been drained out of his face!  Egad!

Well, those Germans have some strange pastimes, I tell ya!  But who am I to tell the residents of Bargteheide how to stage their homes, let alone sell them?

Interestingly enough, the market works a little differently over there.  The listing agents represent buyers and sellers, as there is no such thing as a cooperating agent or buyer’s agent, which makes conflicts of interest ever-present.  And when you consider that the commission rate is 6% over there and not 5%, you start to wonder what you’re getting for your money.

As Werner so eloquently puts it:

“In Germany, agents represent the buyer and seller at the same time and don’t have a terrible lot of incentive to try very hard, but still take a 6% cut.”

When I asked him how long it takes to sell a property under this method, he added:

“I haven’t a damn clue, and neither does the agent. Like I mentioned, the agent seems relatively uninterested in actively pushing the house, and given that they’re the ones that effectively set the price, they don’t have much confidence in it. That said, things are a little different over there. Generally, the price is the price. There aren’t multiple offer scenarios, and you definitely don’t (maybe even can’t) reject an offer at the asking price. Sure, sometimes a buyer will offer less and then you negotiate, but the asking price is effectively a ceiling, not a starting point. The whole structure of having one agent representing both parties and only actively marketing to their own clients definitely doesn’t help the seller’s agenda.”

Hey, I’m the first one to admit that this often isn’t the best approach to selling real estate!  We have “multiple representation” here in Toronto, but it’s often carried out with very stringent rules by the more ethical brokerages (and often not so much – as evidenced by the agent who double-ended his listing with forty competing offers…).

But it seems that the German agents in Bargteheide are fully content to just sign a listing and wait for an offer…..not unlike what the discount brokers do here in Toronto.  ZING!

Werner has moved his mother into a more comfortable apartment nearby, so the house sits empty for the first time in twenty-two years since the Blazargsheftsenstein family first moved to Bargteheide.  (okay, I made that surname up…)

One last point of interest – something I found to be very unique, and that reminded me of that awful blue house on stilts I talked about last week – Werner says that this house has no closets, and very few houses in Germany do.

“They like massive wood furniture,” Werner says.  “Built-ins confuse them.”

Oh, how different Germans are from their neighbours to the north in Sweeden!  IKEA fans would balk at the massive wood furniture, and probably send over complimentary cheap shelving that needs to be assembled with non-sensical, made-up tools that have no other practical uses.

But these are the cultural differences that make me want to visit 150 countries before I die.

I might not make it to Bargteheide, but at least I now have a good feel for the real estate market over there.

If anybody knows of a friend or family member looking for a quaint townhouse – please pass this along!

If this continues, the very first ‘nice’ Riverdale home of 2012 is going to have eighty offers on it…

Did you hear about the house that received over thirty offers last week?  It might have been forty, but at that point, it doesn’t really matter.

It was really just a builder’s lot (albeit one with a house that needs to be torn-down), but it was right near the water, and it sold for 150% of asking price.

The funny part is – the listing agent double-ended the sale.  Now, what are the ‘chances’ that with forty offers, he came out on top with the highest one?  He must have a crystal ball….or….well…

This sale is an outlier, or an anomaly, or whatever you want to call it.  But I don’t think this spring is going to see any decrease in prices if we continue to see such low inventory on the market.

Simply put, there is nothing on the market right now, and when I say “nothing,” I mean it primarily as an exaggeration but for some buyers – it rings completely true.

And keep in mind – I don’t care what statistics say.  People love to jump on here and say, “Actually, David, TREB statistics show a such-and-such increase in new listings from January this over January that.”  I truly don’t care.  Numbers are just numbers, and I’m the one grinding it out every single day in the real estate trenches.  Some properties are listed 5-6 times as Realtors change prices and/or strategies, and some new condo developments flood the market with hundreds of crappy units that nobody wants to buy.  The statistics can be misleading.  I’m talking about QUALITY listings that are in demand, and I’m not seeing any.

How many times per day do I check “New Listings” on MLS?  Fifty?  One hundred?  We’re on here all the time, and it’s the same story: “Man, there’s just nothing out there right now!”  We commiserate with each other, and pray that the real estate Gods will send us that renovated 3-bedroom, 3-bathroom house in Bloor West Village, or that 1,200 square foot hard loft on Queen Street West.

Yes, there are hundreds and hundreds of new listings every week.  And yes, TREB statistics will show that the market is “active.”

But if you’re asking me, or any other Realtor who has at least a dozen active buyers waiting for the ‘right one,’ there is just nothing out there right now, and it’s been like this for some time.

We’re often at the mercy of the market.  The amount, quality, location, or style of new properties listed for sale is 100% unpredictable, unless, you have some sort of intervention in the market place.

For example, if the government decided in 2012 that there would be a new tax credit in the amount of $50,000 for home renovations, then certainly this would change the amount of new listings coming onto the market!  More people would renovate their existing homes instead of purchasing new ones, and the supply of new listings would diminish.

Similarly, if the federal government said, “Well, you’ve got the municipal land transfer tax, and that provincial land transfer tax as well, but we’d like our cut so we’re implementing a third, federal tax to boot,” then it might make buying houses and condos less affordable, and we might see even fewer new listings.

You could surely come up with a scenario on the flip-side as well.  If Rob Ford offered a lifetime supply of free Toronto Maple Leaf tickets to each property-owner that listed before January 31s, the market might be flooded with properties.

But barring these examples, those both realistic and utterly imaginative, the supply of available properties for sale is very difficult to predict.  And even ‘if’ we knew that since interest rates are rising to 11.5% that tons of homes are going to be listed for sale, we still couldn’t predict where.

As I type this blog post, I’m looking to my left on the wall next to my desk and seeing my list called “ACTIVE BUYERS.”  Almost all of these buyers are looking for something extremely particular, and would buy tomorrow if the property is available.

Michael is looking for a King West loft, that is NOT in “Freedville,” and that is a better representation of what “soft lofts” are supposed to look like.  He needs parking, a second bathroom, a den for a home office, and a view that is anything other than an alleyway or a neighbour twenty feet away.  We only started looking three weeks ago, but so far nothing has fit the bill.

Ken & Stacey are looking for a Leslieville house in the $700,000 – 800,000 price range.  There’s nothing out there right now.  We’ve been looking since November of 2011, and while we came close on a couple things last year, nothing jumped out at us.  They’re considering Riverdale as well, which is a step up in price but opens more doors, and so far in 2012 we haven’t seen a single thing worth looking at.  Nothing.  Nadda.  And I email them every week to say, “Sorry guys – nothing this week!

Doug & Dierdre are looking to upsize their condo at Spire by either finding something larger in the same building, or moving into a neighbouring building like Vu or Mozo.  We’ve been looking since July of 2010, and while one unit at Spire fit the bill, it was taken off the market abruptly as we were making our move last August.  Since then, we haven’t seen a similar unit at Spire, and we haven’t seen anything in their price point that is 1,000 – 1,300 square feet that we could make a move on.  Doug & Dierdre are on MLS every day and nothing gets by them, so suffice it to say that THREE of us are searching and still coming up empty.  Until a 30th storey, 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom 1,100 square foot unit hits the market at 33 Lombard Street, we’re just sitting idly by.

Chris & Danielle are looking for a semi-detached house in Bloor West Village, but they’d consider High Park or Swansea to open their open set.  We spun our wheels in early 2011, lost in multiple offers four times, and finally found a place for them to rent.  But now they’re actively looking again, and there’s just nothing out there to show them.  This side of the city is certainly more active than the east end (Riverdale, Leslieville, Beaches), but save for 2-3 properties since January 1st, there is no volume, and they’d have to overpay for a house that they only sort-of like in order to find a home.

I could go on, and on, and on from there as well, but I think you get the picture.

Every one of these dozen active buyers would buy a property tomorrow if exactly what they were looking for were to hit the market.  Some of my active buyers have been active for 6-8 months, and that’s a reflection of how little choice today’s buyer has.

I met a young couple at their King West condo on Saturday who are looking to buy a house to grow into with their young child, and they asked me, “Do you expect that we’ll find ourselves in a bidding war, or with multiple offers?”

As much as it pains me to say it, I simply replied, “Yes.”

Until we see a slew of inventory hit the market, the demand will continue to outpace supply

I explained to this couple, “If you found the perfect home just south of The Danforth that met all your needs and was exactly what you drew up in your heads, wouldn’t it be a little bit, well, naive of you to assume that you were the only person in Toronto that was interested?”

You can’t argue with that logic.

If one 3-bedroom, 3-bathroom house hits the market on Logan Avenue at $699,000, you’re going to have forty interested buyers, and likely 3-5 offers.

If ten 3-bedroom, 3-bathroom houses in the same general area were to come onto the market at the same time, then the demand would likely be met, the sale prices wouldn’t be nearly as high, and there may even be a couple of homes that linger on the market for a few weeks.

But that second scenario hasn’t happened since I’ve been in the business, and I see no way for it to happen unless there is extreme external influence in the market place.

I keep hearing about all the active listings in Toronto, but I’m just not seeing it translate into quality properties that are in demand.

So as I said at the onset of this blog post, the next high-quality property to hit the market in areas where there is no inventory (Leslieville, Riverdale, Beaches, Leaside, and Swansea come to mind) is going to sell for more than fair market value in multiple offers.

The only question that remains is: will it be one of those stories where we say, “You won’t believe how many offers there were on this house last night..”?

Time will tell.

And as much as I’d love to see a more balanced market, it’s not going to happen until inventory increases dramatically.

Chris Paul is buying Avril Lavigne’s house in California, and I have my own story about a couple of celebs here in Toronto…

I chose that photo, from all of the celebrity universe, because it represents the most vile, awful, miserable, disgusting three human beings on the planet.

I had never heard of “Kim Kardashian” until about a year ago, and I think my life was better at that time.

I’ve had the unique privilege of listening to bits and pieces of these awful shows while my girlfriend has the remote and I’m working in the other room on my laptop, and I can’t think of a worse existence than being one of these three women.  They’ve completely lost touch with reality (if they ever had it), they’re self-absorbed, self-entitled, and have this warped perception of how the world works.

I’ve never taken pleasure in the misery of another person, but I actually felt good when Kim Kardashian cried over her failed (supposedly real) marriage to whats-his-face that played left-bench for the Raptors a few years back.

I don’t believe in the concept of “celebrity” because it means that some people are better than the rest of us just because they’re better known.  But this is a self-defeating prophecy, because the masses watch crap like Big Brother and turn complete nobodys into b-list celebrities, which in today’s world, is worth millions.  Six bumbling morons with no redeeming qualities spent a summer being videotaped clubbing in New Jersey, and now they’re all multi-millionaires, and worshipped by equally inane morons who watch their shows.

Sorry.  That rant has nothing to do with this blog post.

Here is the article I wanted to talk about today:

“Chris Paul Set To Buy Avril Lavigne’s $8.5 Million Mansion”

By: Eric Freeman
Ball Don’t Lie
January 23rd, 2012

It’s no big secret that athletes and musicians travel in the same circles and lead fairly similar lives. They also make similar salaries, at least at the highest levels, and can therefore afford similar luxuries. For instance, when one sells a home worth around $8.5 million, another will probably pop up to buy it. Whether the seller is the musician or the buyer is the athlete, or vice-versa, depends on the situation.

So it should not come as much surprise that Los Angeles Clippers point guard Chris Paul is in line to purchase punk-pop songstress Avril Lavigne’s very expensive mansion. Nevertheless, it’s mildly notable and a good opportunity for stupid jokes. Here are the important details from the gossip merchants at TMZ.com (via EOB):

“Sources tell us … Paul fell in love with the 12,184 square foot place, which Avril originally listed for $9.5 mil and decided he had to make a move.

The mansion — located in a hoity-toity private community called Bel Air Crest — includes 8 bedrooms and 10.5 bathrooms, a wine cellar, 10-car garage, gym, sauna and a covered outdoor living room.”

You can check out one photo of the home above and see the rest in this TMZ gallery.  After the jump, enjoy a bunch of silly puns and Avril-based humor.

According to this report, the real estate deal was not so complicated — no one acted like they were somebody else to get the other side frustrated. They obviously promised each other they would never fake it.

In all seriousness, though, this is a notable moment for the Clippers, if only because Paul seems to be signalling he will not be saying “see you later, boy” to them in two years as previously feared. Can I make it any more obvious?

Best of luck to Paul, who will most likely start wearing strategically torn clothes from Hot Topic and dyeing small patches of his hair pink any day now.

So Avril slashed the initial asking price of this house by a cool million, eh?

I was under the impression that California real estate isn’t really moving that well.

In any event, it’s a drop in the bucket for Chris Paul, who is currently labouring through a four-year, $68,000,000 contract.

Before Avril Lavigne lived in the property, the house was owned by Travis Barker, who was the drummer for one of my favorite teenage-angst bands of the 1990′s – Blink 182.  He lived there with Shanna Moakler who’s name rang a bell, and after probing IMDB.com, I can say that I vaguely remember her from a terrible show about bike-cops that patrolled Malibu beaches in 1999.

So the house is going from celebrity, to celebrity, to celebrity.  I would imagine this happens a lot in Los Angeles; as I mentioned above, the town is filled with celebrities, and these are the people best equipped to dole out $10 Million for a home.  Sure, there are some rich business-people in L.A., but I’m sure there are more celebs!

However, celebrity-to-celebrity real estate transactions aren’t unique to Los Angeles.  We’ve had a few right here in Toronto!

I remember browsing the new listings one afternoon back in 2006 and seeing the name “Vincent Carter” as one of the sellers.  “Air Canada,” as he was briefly known, owned a 6,000 square foot condo down at 211 Queen’s Quay with a brutal 1980′s kitchen.  He had an entire room just for his shoes.

Vincent Lamar Carter bought the condo for $2,750,000 in 2001, and sold it for $2,800,000 in 2006.  Condo prices in downtown Toronto increased more than 50% during that time-frame, but the 2000 NBA Slam Dunk champion made a mere 1.8% on his ‘investment.’  Such a shame.

When Vince Carter sold the condo in 2006, who do you think bought it?

Was it a jolly ‘ole Torontonian, or perhaps, yet another celebrity?

Sports fans will remember A.J. Burnett for the brief cup of coffee he had here in Toronto before opting out of his contract to make more money in New York, and in fact it was A.J. Burnett that bought the modest 6,000 square foot unit from Vince Carter.

From one celebrity, to another.

And for the record – A.J. Burnett sold the condo for $2,800,000 two years later, meaning he made a fat 0% on his investment.

I guess when you’re super-rich, the tax-free capital gains that we common folk consider a gift from God seems utterly meaningless.

I’ll be brutally honest (for a change) and tell you that I think this is nothing but a novelty, and there’s nothing practical about this home…

And here’s something I forgot to mention in the video: there are no closets!  Not a single closet in the entire house!  No front hall coat closet, no storage closet, and no closets in the bedrooms.  I suppose you can just throw your clothing on a pile in the floor of the room…

Hey, I think this is a ‘cool’ house; who wouldn’t!

But it’s only really cool when you’re eight years old, you drive by with your parents, and you say, “Look, look, that house is blue!  Do you think elves live there?  Or maybe the Mad Hatter?”

I think it’s cool today in a “huh, wow, neat” kind of way, but would I want to live there?  Would I want to own this place?  Would I sell it to a client?

Despite all this, there is a feel-good ending to this story.

Rumor has it – the seller took less money to sell the property to somebody he liked; somebody who he thought would cherish the home and see his vision, rather than simply accept the highest offer from a buyer who he didn’t identify with.

And you know what?  It’s not the first time I’ve heard of this happening, and it won’t be the last.

Sounds easy, right?

You simply bring all of your possessions from property-A and move them to property-B.

How tough could that be?

I can’t imagine fighting with your significant other, breaking things, losing things, spending unnecessary money, hiring the wrong company, forgetting to book elevators and coordinate deliveries.

You’ve got it all figured out, right?

Well, I’ve yet to meet a client who didn’t think that moving would be a cinch, and I’d also like to think that I’ve learned from their mistakes and experiences, as well as mine.

Here are some very helpful moving tips:

Combine Pre-Moving With Staging For Sale

Kill two birds with one stone!

A Realtor like myself is going to come into the house or condo that you’re preparing to sell (and move out of), and tell you that you need to remove about 60% of all your possessions.  It’s nothing personal, it just needs to be done in order to maximize the look and feel of the property in a buyer’s eyes.

But this is a blessing in disguise!  Now instead of packing up everything at once, you’re doing some of it now instead of right before the big move.  AND, you’re going to get more money for your existing property by doing it.

You simply have NO clue how much ‘stuff’ you own until it’s time to clean it out.

And while you’re at it – de-clutter too!  Take some bags to Goodwill, or haven’t I made that point enough already?

Mom’s Basement

Your mother loves you, unconditionally.  You can do no wrong in her eyes, and she’ll do anything for you.

So, I suggest you take advantage of this!

Many people rent a storage locker for their belongings, but they always say the same thing, “I’m just gonna use it for 1-2 months while we’re in transition from the condo to the house, then move everything back.”  But do you know how often that 1-2 months leads into 3-4 years?  Once your stuff is comfortably in storage, the last thing you want to do is bring forty boxes into your nice new home and sort through them one at a time.  People end up paying for storage lockers for months, if not years, and it could have all been avoided by putting everything in your mom’s basement.

First of all, your mom’s basement is free, unlike the storage facility.  All you have to do is allow her to cook you lunch as you unload boxes, and update her on your life, and the storage is paid for!

Second of all, once you move into your new house or condo, your mom will call and email you every week and ask, “When are you going to come get your stuff?”  The people running the storage facilities don’t give you these friendly reminders, but mom will!

Mom’s basement is a great, cost-effective, and friendly way to store some items during the staging and moving process.

Banana Boxes!

This is the best piece of advice I will give you today.

Use banana boxes for all your moving.  Plain and simple.

Banana boxes were created by God in 3,200 B.C. and handed down to Moventimus – the God of Moving, who in-turn gave them to mere mortals and made the world a better place.

Banana boxes are extremely durable, as I’ve personally filled them to the brim with books (approx 40-50 pounds) and I’ve never had the bottom fall off.

Banana boxes are uniform in size and thus stack perfectly in your basement, condo locker, storage facility, mother’s basement, or the second bedroom of your new condo where they stay for three months until it causes an issue with you and your girlfriend and you finally open up a bottle of Malbec one night and get to it.  But I digress…

And the best part is – banana boxes are FREE!

Don’t spend $400 on plastic containers because they have “snap lids” and they have that ‘new car smell’ or ‘new book scent’ feeling to them.  You’re moving – you don’t need this to be perfect and rosy.  Just get some banana boxes, start packing, and when you unpack, you can recycle them.

Look at this beauty in all its glory:

(Sidebar: if you do a Google image search for “banana boxes,” one of the first search results is a photo of a naked man holding handguns.  The rest of the photos are all of banana boxes.  I still don’t understand the Internet…)

Now where you get banana boxes and when is what I’m here to help with!

Don’t go to your local grocer at 4pm on a weekday.  They’re busy, and they don’t want to help you.  You’ll be lucky to snag one banana box, and that’s a wasted trip.

Go to a Loblaw’s superstore like the one I visit at Jarvis & Queen’s Quay around 12pm on a weeknight, and simply walk into the back like you own the place.  Tell the first person you see, “Hey there, so Johnny said to come back here and help myself to as many banana boxes as I can carry,” and you’re home free.

When you see something like this, you’re going to get that magnificent tingle in your leg:

Goddam – that’s a sexy sight if you’re in the process of moving.  I can personally attest to that!

You should be able to fit a dozen of these in your car if you stack them right.

Know Your Movers And What Is Included

First and foremost, here is my recommendation:

S & Sons Moving
416-253-7641

They’re three Eastern European guys who don’t make small talk, and they’re in and out faster than whatever was promised.  They never break anything, and they’ll do the “extras” whether it was paid for or not.

And that’s the point I wanted to make here – find out in advance what is included in your payment.

How many home-owners have expected movers to show up with a truck full of cardboard boxes only to find out that they don’t have any, or that they cost extra?  I might be inclined to blame the naive home-owner, but regardless, anybody who hires a mover should find out EXACTLY what is included.

Some movers don’t show up with so much as a roll of tape!

Boxes, bubble-wrap, tape, plastic wrap – all these things should be detailed in advance.

You should even ask them, “Do you have a trolley and a dolley?”  The last thing you want is to hire somebody that doesn’t have the tools for the job or who shows up unprepared.

You can’t always trust the movers to be careful with your delicate, expensive, antique end-table, so it’s nice to know that when you say “Please don’t screw this up,” they’ll take a roll of plastic wrap and cover the item from top to bottom just in case they nudge it while being careful.

Ask as many questions as possible in advance, and you won’t be caught off guard.

Double And Triple Check Every Appointment & Booking

Not everybody is as smart and diligent as you are.  There are a lot of people grinding out 9-to-5′s that hate what they do and really don’t care about the results.  These people often work in furniture stores, for delivery companies, or at the front desk of your condominium.

I called G.H. Johnson’s four times in the space of five weeks to confirm the delivery of my couch, and it still didn’t show up on time.  Why?  Because the person booking the delivery didn’t think it was necessary to check with the person who is responsible for inventory.  The couch was weeks behind schedule, but two departments in the same company don’t have any communication.

If you’re expecting deliveries, or have tradespeople (good luck with Rogers…) scheduled to show up, you shouldn’t be afraid to call two or three times to make sure everybody is on schedule.

If you’re moving into a condo, you get a three-hour window with the moving elevator, and the concierge will be there right as time expires to annoy you and demonstrate why he he failed the police officer’s exam and how he is a bouncer at a nightclub on weekends.  He won’t look to help you, nor will he be sympathetic.  He won’t provide answers to your seemingly rhetorical questions such as, “Really?  And what should I do with the last truckload of my stuff – just leave it out in the street?”

It’s impossible to make sure everybody is on time and everything goes off without a hitch, but you can certainly try!

This unique offshoot of Leaside has a cynical and somewhat unfortunate nickname, but don’t blame me – I didn’t make it up!

Don’t shoot the messenger!  I’m not the one that coined the term, “Daddy Divorceville”…

There are far worse areas of Toronto with far worse nicknames, but this one is just a bit depressing.

When I first heard the term “Daddy Divorceville,” did what almost any person would be naturally inclined to do, and chuckled a little.

But the more I thought about it, the sadder it became.

I immediately conjured up this visual image in my head of some poor 40-something man opening a can of Zoodles and warming it on his electric stove.

I guess things could be worse.  Many men would jump right into a relationship with their secretary, buy a boat, rent a downtown Toronto penthouse, and spend $20,000 on a zebra rug.  It takes all kinds, and while I’d like to think that most men would immediately think of their children and how to be closer to them, many men think about themselves, hair-plugs, strippers, Porches, and God knows what else.

Daddy Divorceville can be somewhat depressing, but the positive side of this situation is that there are a lot of good parents out there that put their children first, and would give anything to be near them.  These aren’t bad properties at all, and the area is still developing.  There are two new condominium towers being built by Aspen Ridge, and a new road is opening that will connect with Eglinton Avenue and allow easier access to and from the neighbourhood.

Much of the commercial/industrial land along Laird and further east has been transformed into residential & retail, and I expect the trend to continue.  This area is developing, and is still a prime location that is quick driving distance to all infrastructure and amenities, and seconds from all TTC routes.

Perhaps years from now, this cluster of townhouses will be home to families – and by that, I mean those that are whole, and with no intention of splitting…

Who says honesty is the best policy?

More Bemoaning of BMO?

I think we may have ‘touched’ on this already this week, but it’s interesting to see all the response on BMO’s “Low Rate Mortgage” of 2.99% which is gaining momentum in the mortgage market.

Every day this week, I read articles in The Globe & Mail about possible mortgage rate wars, and what Mark Carney and Jim Flaherty think.

From The Globe: “Finance Minister Jim Flaherty says he stands ready to intervene in the housing market again, just as a mortgage price war breaks out among Canada’s major banks.”

“Bankers also argued that the 2.99 per cent fixed-rate mortgages they have begun to offer, after Bank of Montreal spurred a price war, are not a big problem for consumer debt levels, in part because many Canadians still have variable-rate mortgages that are even lower than that.”

So maybe my argument about the potential for misleading uninformed consumers won’t even factor into this discussion!

FOR SALE: Scotia Plaza

If you’ve got a spare $1 Billion burning a hole in your pocket, I have something you might like…

Bank of Nova Scotia is looking to sell its headquarters in Toronto’s financial district, and although the talk is preliminary, experts are saying that it could sell for as much as one billion dollars.  The building was constructed in 1988 and measures 68-storeys, making it Canada’s second-tallest skyscraper.

I keep hearing about this “hot commercial real estate market,” so this should be a quick sale, no?

I’d imagine that the pension funds will be the usual suspects for this type of asset, so I’ll call my friends at CPP, OTPP, and the like to see if I can assist them in any way…

(Solar) Power To The People!

I’ve never quite seen anything like this:

This is an expensive home in an upscale area, and it sticks out like a sore thumb.

I’m not going to tell anybody how to live their lives, and I’m not going to get into a debate about environmentalism, but does anybody else think that this house now looks exceptionally unnattractive?

I mean, I’m sure the owners here are saving a few bucks each month by churning their own butter, combining those little soap-bar leftovers into one giant bar, and using solar power, but I don’t think they’ve increased the value and marketability of their home.

Hey, to each, their own, right?  Maybe not everybody is primarily concerned with money, and maybe they put the environment first.  To that, I say, “bravo, Mother Nature thanks you.”

(Grow) Opportunity!

A new company out of Ottawa called “HomeProof” is launching a registry of properties that housed former drug operations, aka “grow ops.”

This will be the very first registry of its kind, and for a fee, Realtors will be able to search a property’s address against millions of national records consisting of insurance claims and criminal reports.  This is similar to the “CarFax” reports for automobiles, which trace the entire history of a car through accident reports and insurance policies.

HomeProof will provide information on insurance claims on everything from fires to floods, but it’s the grow-operatives that pique most people’s interests!

The service will only be offered to Realtors, home inspectors, lawyers, and other authorized representatives associated with real estate, but the public will be able to pull reports for their own properties.

ADT Versus Alarm Force

A client of mine is comparing options for home security in her new Riverdale house, and the options out there are…..interesting, to say the least.

Alarm Force offers free installation and $25 monthly monitoring.

ADT offers a $1,200 installation and $50 per month monitoring.

But it doesn’t end there!

ADT also offers a multi-page “information package” slandering Alarm Force, complete with supposed testimonials from people called “Member 1″ and “Member 2″ that describe their displeasure with Alarm Force before they, of course, switched to ADT.

I’m no expert here, but don’t you just want a really loud alarm to sound if and when somebody tries to break into your home?  They’ll either get scared off, in which case “response time” doesn’t matter, or they’ll brutally murder you in a matter of minutes, in which case response time also doesn’t matter.  Call me a cynic.

Broken?  Or Just A Lotta’ Work?

A listing came out this week for a condominium unit, over $500K, in a two-year-old buildint that I would consider to be well above-average in terms of the quality of the finishes.

But I laughed hysterically when I saw the caption in the private “Brokers Remarks” on the MLS listing.  It read:

“Need To Use Lighter For Gas Burner On Stove”

Again, I’m no expert, I’m no chef, and I’ve never been enrolled in culinary school of any kind.

But what kind of stove starts with the use of a lighter?  Maybe a super-duper one in a restaurant – but surely not a normal, run-of-the-mill stove that you’d find in a condominium.

So is there a chance that this stove is actually broken?  And maybe they’re just disgusing this on MLS?  Or maybe it’s not meant to be disguised and it’s just an odd way of disclosing “Stove Is Broken.  Ignitor Needs To Be Replaced.  Current Owner Is Lazy And Just Uses A Lighter.”

Putting On The Ritz

I was a tad confused this week when I saw the hot-sheets and a new listing for a 1-bedroom…..priced at $1,500,000.

I’ve seen a lot of 1-bedroom condos in my time, but I have to be honest – not even in my wildest dream did I think I’d see a 1-bedroom at a million-five.

What’s the future of the “luxurious ultra luxurious luxury” market in downtown Toronto when Trump Towers is looking for $1,900/sqft for some of their remaining units?

No ‘Man’ Is Too Old To Be A Boy

A friend of mine sent me the image below this week, and I’ve been determined to work it into a blog post somehow.  After trying to work this into articles about mortgages, I figured I’d just plop it down here.

For any man who was a child of the 1980′s, you’ll love this.

G.I. Joe had to be the most popular toy when we were growing up, and no amount of Transformers could possibly trump the ongoing battle between G.I. Joe and Cobra.

“Knowing is half the battle.”  I live my life by that message…

If you’re not laughing out loud, then you clearly didn’t watch G.I. Joe as a child…

But there are a lot of hidden issues with this product, and I’m going to expose them….right NOW!

Oh, those sly dogs in the banking business!

I’ve always been skeptical about basically any product offered by any bank or lending institution.  I worked part-time for TD Canada Trust briefly as I was completing my real estate license in 2003 (“Hello, Mr. Jones, how may I serve you today?”), and I remember telling my manager, “All banks screw people.  It’s been happening since the middle-ages!”

I can’t believe she didn’t fire me.  And I went on from there.  “It’s every bank’s business model to screw people – that’s how they make money.  They’re smarter than the general public, and the general public has a history of rolling over.  All banks are the same, and you can’t go from one to the next because they’ll screw you just the same.”

Remember when banking was FREE?  TD Canada Trust has one account that costs $21.95 per month!

Fees, fees, fees.  Withdrawal fees, non-TD ABM withdrawal fees, email transfer fees, overdraft fees, transaction fees, minimum balance fees, monthly account fees, statement fees, and likely dozens of others.

Hey – I’d do the same thing if I was the CEO!  I’m not really complaining; I understand capitalism, and if I don’t like it, I can put my money in my mattress and lose the convenience of the debit card.

Some fees are hidden, and some are up front, but the onus is always on the consumer to investigate.  If the bank is smarter than the consumer (which they usually are), then the consumer should have simply done more homework, and can’t blame anybody but him or herself for being fee’d to death.

And that brings me to the subject of mortgages.

If you think banking is complicated – with hidden fees and fine print, imagine what it’s like for Joe Public to understand the inner workings of a a mortgage.  That’s why I always tout the use of a mortgage broker, rather than simply walking into your neighbourhood bank, but as my readers have pointed out on many occasions – both have their pros and cons.

I’ve had a few clients ask me about this new BMO mortgage that is all the rage.

It’s called their “Low Rate Mortgage,” for lack of a better name.

Simply put, it’s a 5-year, fixed-rate mortgage at 2.99%, which blows every other mortgage out of the water.

Comparable mortgages are 3.19% right now (that’s my broker’s best rate), or upwards of 3.49% if you have a crappy broker or are being screwed by your bank.

So how come BMO can offer such an amazing rate that is 20-30 basis points better than everybody else?

Are they our friends?  Are they being nice?

Are they just better than everybody else?

Or is there a catch?

Well, some of you may stand up and say “Those aren’t catches and that’s not fine print – it’s called ‘doing business.’”

That may be true, but what I’m going to do here is highlight the differences between a regular mortgage, and this special “Low Rate Mortgage” that was named Canadian Mortgage Trends’ 2011 “Mortgage of the Year.”

Here’s a partial list just from what I can tell – and keep in mind that your mortgage broker could likely dig even deeper!

1) Maximum 25 Year Amortization

They’re trying to play this off like it’s a great thing.

“Helping you pay down your mortgage faster!”

But shouldn’t the choice be left to the mortgage-holder?  In this case, if the borrower wants a 30 or a 35-year amortization, then they aren’t offered this special “Low Rate Mortgage” of 2.99%.  I understand that a 25-year mortgage is paid off sooner than a 30-year mortgage, and I think that even the most unsophisticated borrower on the planet would know that just from the name, and the difference of five years.  But not everybody needs, wants, or can afford a 25-year mortgage.

I fear that BMO is pushing people to take a 25-year amortization just to save the 20 basis points, but it might not be the right mortgage for the borrower.

A $400,000 purchase with 20% down would carry for $1,512 per month on a 25-year, 2.99% mortgage, but only $1,378 per month on a 30-year, 3.19% mortgage.  Yes, the interest paid is less with the 25-year option, but for some buyers, it’s about affordability and monthly carrying cost, first and foremost.

I’m not promoting either the 25-year or the 30-year (let alone 35-year), but I’m just saying that the consumer should decide.

2) Only 10% Lump Sum Payments Allowed

This is where the ‘big money’ comes into play with mortgages; making lump sum payments.

Many borrowers will take on a 35-year amortization to lower their monthly fees, but then they’ll make large lump-sum payments once per year when the time is right.  A large portion of the downtown Toronto crew receive year-end bonuses that could be more than their base salaries!  It’s incredibly important for these borrowers to have the option of paying down the usual 20% instead of 10%.

I know from experience that myself, my friends, and many of my clients have taken advantage of the 20% lump-sum payment options.

For many borrowers, it might not matter.  Some borrowers might laugh when I complain that you can ‘only’ put down 10% instead of 20% as some borrowers can barely afford the monthly payment to begin with!

But regardless, the option should be there.

3) Smaller Payment Increases

Just as with the above, monthly payment increases are only allowed at HALF the usual amount.

Again – this might not matter for some borrowers, but many people decide during the course of their mortgage that they want to increase the payment amount, and with the BMO “Low Rate Mortgage,” they can only do so at half the amount allowed by most other mortgage products.

4) Fully Closed

This mortgage is fully closed, unless you sell or renew into another BMO product.

There is no early negotiating power, and you are tied to BMO for the five years.

No discharge.
No portability.
No assumption.

The only way you can discharge the mortgage is upon a sale of the property, meaning if you win the lottery and want to pay off your entire mortgage, you can’t.

With most other mortages, you can discharge the mortgage by paying a three-month interest penalty, or the interest rate differential if mortgage rates have fallen.  This is absolutely, positively, essential for any mortgage, in my humble opinion.

By not allowing portability, you can’t take this mortgage with you if you decide in the third year of the term to buy a larger house.  All this does is complicate your life!

And nobody can assume the mortgage, which is something that in certain market cycles can be very attractive to potential purchasers.

5) No Non-Owner Occupied Properties Allowed

We all know that CMHC rules now call for a 20% downpayment on any investment properties or non-owner occupied properties, but this “Low Rate Mortgage” isn’t allowed for ANY non-owner occupied properties, regardless of the downpayment.

So BMO will take your money for a mortgage on your primary residence, but they won’t extend this mortgage to you for your investment property – even if you have 50% down.

6) Only Valid Until January 25th, 2012

I hate “limited time offers.”

I remember signing up at GoodLife years ago and the salesperson told me that if I signed up with a personal trainer, I’d get 20% off all sessions.  I said “Let me think about it,” and she said, “Well this offer is only available today, right now.”

I told her strictly out of principal that I wasn’t interested and I would never be strong-armed into a decision.

You know how if you CALL NOW and buy one Slap-Chop or Sham-Wow, they’ll throw in a second one for free?  Does anybody actually believe that if you wait ten minutes to call, you won’t get two Miracle Blades or two Pasta Makers?

I despise offers that expire, even if this is how the business works.

There are so many hidden points in this “Low Rate Mortgage,” and I wonder if BMO is telling their potential borrowers about all the perils of this product.

I also hate how their advertisement says, “Choose this mortgage if you want peace of mind knowing that your rate will not rise during the term.”

Isn’t this how ALL fixed-rate mortgages work?

It’s like saying “Choose this automobile if you want the peace of mind knowing that you never have to pedal with your feet like The Flintstones.”  Because how many automobiles today still get you to pedal with your feet?

“Choose to breathe air if you don’t want to die of asphyxiation.  We’ll give you air for free!”

They’re trying to advertise and highlight something that is there in the first place.  There’s nothing wrong with this; it’s just a bit cheeky.

All in all, I’m not surprised that a lender has put together a mortgage product like this, but it’s not a viable option for anybody I know, nor should it be.

I have nothing against BMO, FYI.

I’m just stating the facts, and advocating for the consumer.

On that note, I should also mention that Vince is back!  Even better than the Sham-Wow and the Slap Chop is his new product: the Schticky:

Who knew that the lazy, unprofessional work of a never-to-be-hired-again contractor would leave me smiling in the end?

Back in November, I wrote a post called “Prefer To Refer” in which I detailed my frustration with individuals in the service industry who work one job at a time instead of trying to satisfy the client and gain praise and referrals.

I mentioned how I was having trouble with my carpenter whom I had hired to turn my 1,200 square foot concrete eyesore of a terrace into a foxy wilderness.

Well, we’re into January, and the work isn’t complete.  But I’m happy as a pig in, well, you know…

Let me start from the beginning.

As many of you know, I purchased a condo at Vu Condos last year which featured a fantastic, unique, 1,200 square foot private terrace.  The only issue with the space was that it was incredibly boring and untouched!  It was nothing but a concrete slab with rust-stains from the previous owner’s negligence, and I intended to transform the space into a masterpiece.

My plan was to build a “deck” in the corner of the terrace that faced southwest – about a 20 x 15 foot section, and that would be the “seating area.”  Then I’d build planter boxes all the way along the 50-foot width of the terrace, but stagger them and have them different sizes.

Here’s how the terrace looked before the renovation, although don’t be fooled by the shiny green furniture from the previoius listing - it’s nothing but concrete underneath, and it was ugly as hell:

Having hired and fired tradespersons before, I knew I had to do things differently this time.

I met with my carpenter, Johnny, at the soon-to-be-mine condo in July of 2011, and asked him, “Can you get start work on September 30th when I take possession?”

He said, of course, “Yes.”

He also told me that the work would be completed within 2-3 weeks maximum, but not to worry because the bulk of the work would be finished in a couple of days.

His quote was for $10,700, and I agreed.

I paid him an up-front, $5,000 deposit on the work in September, and I took possession on the 30th.

But one week later, Johnny’s wife emailed me and said, “We made a mistake in the quote – it was supposed to include four custom lattice-panels which are $872 each.  Please adjust your quote accordingly.”  So now my quote was up to $14,000, or maybe $12,000 and change if I could do without two of the panels, which is what I thought we had agreed on.

Johnny started almost on time – October 1st, but it took longer than expected to finish the deck, which was something he promised he would have completed within 2-3 days.  We wanted to have a housewarming party for October 15th, which didn’t seem unreasonable given that he said the ENTIRE project would likely take under three weeks, but as days passed without any work on the deck, I started to grow concerned.

Johnny was very good at taking my deposit, and very good at explaining all the work he would do, but he wasn’t very good at actually, you know, showing up for work.

Two days before the housewarming party, I told Johnny that he MUST finish the deck on time, but I stopped short of a meaningless, hollow “or else,” since he had $5,000 of my money and the deck represented about 20% of the overall job.  Johnny brought six guys with him one afternoon, and they banged out the deck in less than two hours.

Here’s my mom and Jenna sitting on the deck back in October:

It looked fantastic!

A beautiful, durable, white-cedar that smelled like a sauna!  I was thrilled!

Of course, none of the planter boxes had been started, but knowing all along that I wasn’t going to be planting until May of 2012, I let it slide.

During the planning phase, Johnny told me that he would build most of the planter boxes in his shop, and simply load them into his truck, bring them up to my terrace, and then “install” them in the course of an afternoon.  I thought this was highly efficient, and a much better idea than building them from scratch on my terrace in the cold October (eventually – December…) weather, while battling the elements!

Weeks passed, and Johnny gave me every excuse in the book.  He had pneumonia, which I had to sympathize with, and then he said that three of his ‘guys’ quit on him and he just didn’t have the manpower.

It took until November for him to start work on the planter-boxes, and the most amazing thing happened when he started: he forgot all about his BS story about building them in his shop, and simply had loads of lumber delivered to my condo.

For two days, Johnny and his buddy sawed timber on my terrace and assembled one-and-a-half planter boxes out of what was supposed to be five, and things looked pretty good!  Except I wasn’t sure if the lattice panels were worth $872 each, or if they were simply made from about $30 worth of material by two dudes in twenty minutes.

I said to Johnny, “So, I’m guessing that you decided to go without those ‘special’ lattice panels that you were estimating would cost $872 each and you guys redesigned this and went with this cheaper version instead?”

Johnny paused, and then said, “Mmmm…..no…..yeah, uh, we decided to go with something different…”

And that’s when I knew that he was completely full of sh!t on everything that he did and said, and his “tell” was when he starts sentences with “mmm…..no, yeah…”

He had no plan for this job, and was simply taking it one day at a time.  He was never going to build anything in his shop, assuming he even had a shop.

Like all contractors, Johnny was great at meeting people, signing up a job, taking a deposit, and then starting a job.  But like all contractors – he loved to start ten jobs at once and then frustrate the clients by showing up for work sporadically!

I had a bad feeling that this would never end, and the finish line was going to be tough to cross.  Along with the deck, the planters, and the lattice, Johnny also promised to build a custom outdoor storage unit from cedar – one that would fit the dimensions of the space I wanted to put it, and fit it to perfection!  This would be a unit that could never be replicated by something purchased at Home Depot; only something built by hand, from scratch.

I asked Johnny about the storage unit, and he said, “Well, we’ve already built out the frame in the shop, and, mmmm….yeah, we’re waiting for some lumber on back-order to complete the shelves and the doors.”

He was full of it.  He didn’t build anything in his shop, and he likely forgot that he said he’d built the planters in the shop, but he showed up with lumber instead!  He was caught in his own web of lies, and didn’t know it.

By the first week of December, Johnny’s buddy was showing up now-and-again to work on the remaining planters, and he had built all five of them, but had yet to install the styrofoam insulation, which was the last part.  After completing that, they’d have to start work on the custom outdoor storage unit, and that wasn’t going to be easy.

By mid-December, I hadn’t heard from Johnny in two weeks.  I left him messages, and he never returned them.

So finally one day, I left him a message and said, “You need to call me tonight by 7pm.  It’s that simple.”

He never called.

So at 7pm, I left him another message and said, “I paid you $5,000 of a $11,000 to $14,000 job, so if you have any desire whatsoever to get the remaining money owing, then call me tonight.”

He never called.

And here it is in January, and he’s never called me back.

I could not possibly be happier.

Minus the custom storage unit, Johnny completed every bit of the work – the deck, the planter boxes, the lattice – he just needed to insulate the planters with styrofoam.

Ignoring the “confusion” over the $872 lattice pieces, which likely would have needed to be argued out, Johnny likely finished about $9,500 worth of work.

And I only ever paid him $5,000.

The lumber alone for this job must have cost $3,000, and he had hundreds of man-hours into this project.

If I had to guess, I’d say that Johnny knew building the outdoor storage unit was going to take time and money, and he simply said, “screw it.”  He broke even on the project, or maybe lost a little money, and decided that it wasn’t worth his time.

And I could not be happier.

I saved about $5,000, and my buddy Wes can put some insulation into those planters in an afternoon for a couple hundred bucks.  I can buy a cheap, plastic storage unit at Home Depot for a few hundred dollars as well.

So what would have been better – to pay $12,000++ for the completed job, or to get 90% of the job for less than half the quoted price?

I’m thinking the latter…